So I Can Sleep.

Do you ever have those nights - the ones you have all to yourself - where you don't have anything super urgent to do but you're not ready to go to bed yet? And then nothing feels quite right so you just kinda sit there, feeling like you're killing time? (Which...the killing time thing, if you think about it, is kinda ominous, but...) That's kinda how I feel right now, so...I was just sitting here in front of my laptop, and this thought struck me, really loud in my head.

"Why don't you write to your girlfriend?"

So, in my glossy-eyed ditsyness, I thought "......huh! That's a really good idea."

I feel like I always have something to say to you, like you're the one muse I have, the one inspiration. No matter what I'm doing, no matter how I'm feeling, it always feels right to write to you, to tell you how I'm feeling.

All I can hope is that when you're reading these, they won't bore you too much. (: They're all just for you!

Today I told some chick about me. You know, the really super uber personal thing. She didn't react *badly*, per se. But she didn't just take it without blinking, either. Before, she'd wanted to see me as soon as possible. And after, she started saying "well....we're only gonna have a few hours..." That bothers me - that's something you may already know about me by now...how important I'd see someone's reaction.

Naturally, my thoughts turned to you. I know that if you're really the girl of my dreams, you *won't* react. Period. You'll still see me as the same girl *after* finding out as you did *before* you found out. You'll still see me as every bit as beautiful, every bit as desirable. It's *me* you want, and that's what makes you so special.